Conquer It: The 3 Stages of Living Alone for the First Time

At first glance, solo living feels like the best life — you have all the space to yourself and you can do whatever you want whenever you like. The best part of all that is, of course, you can get naked while eating cereal and not care at all. The reality, however, is that living alone is a challenging feat. This is especially true if you’re like most adulting Pinoys who have no choice but to move out of their family homes, leave their comfort zones to be near their office, and to abandon traffic drama altogether.

If you’re planning to go solo living, the best way to get ready for it is to know what to expect. While everybody’s journey is unique, most people go through these three stages:

The Remorse Stage

In the first few days of moving in, the reality of being alone will slowly creep in. The silence will be so loud and the feeling of homesickness is going to be intense. You’ll have this nagging feeling of regret, questioning this life decision, as you are uncertain if you can ever make it.

In this case, you have to remind yourself that you’re still at the transition period. Don’t be hard on yourself, expecting that you’re going to be all settled once you move in. It takes months, or even years, to get used to living alone. If you can get some friends over, that would help in relieving the being-alone blues.

Remorse can take in the form of the big purchase you just made. For this, you have to trace your buying decisions, why you chose this home, why you compromised, what your goals are, etc. If you’re still on the search for a home, East Bay Residences noted that many condos for sale in Alabang, Muntinlupa are worth considering. You won’t have to break the bank to afford it, which is one less source of regret later on.

The Freedom Stage

Woman dancing while wearing pajama

As you get familiar with just being by yourself, you’re going to appreciate more the freedom this lifestyle offers. You would soon discover that it’s okay to leave the dishes until you’ve binge-watched all the episodes of your favorite TV show or that it’s nice to wake up late during the weekends, with no one telling you to do chores.

It’s a good life, but know that you can also have too much of this good thing. You might be so unworried about living solo that you forget the responsibilities that come with it. Exercise discipline and self-control. Remember that there’s no one else who can do the laundry and pay your bills. When you overlook these duties, solo living will be unnecessarily stressful. Just imagine eating dinner in the dark because you forgot to pay electricity bills. That’s certainly not “the good life.”

The Withdrawal Stage

Months after living alone, you would be comfortable being just by yourself. You never have to worry about eating at a restaurant alone or you don’t mind spending your Friday nights, eating a tub of ice cream while having a chick flick movie marathon.

You have arrived at independence. But then, you also have to remember that social life is important. Resist the urge to be alone all the time. Invite friends over at your house. Go out with officemates after work. Reach out to your condo neighbors. Prioritize expanding your social network — you’ll never know when solo living prompts you to find a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.

Living alone is a challenging milestone. You can only take on this challenge with firm determination when you get yourself ready for it. Prepare well and conquer these mentioned stages of solo living.